A Late Birthday Post

This week marked the completion of my 20th lap around the sun. If life were a marathon and years represented miles, I would be over 3/4ths of the way finished. I'm thankful it's not.

The 20-year mark definitely resonated with me differently than any other birthday, however. My recent birthdays (17, 18, 19) have all felt pretty much the same—just another year closer to being further on my own. Closer to being fully independent. Turning 19 was a big step as I moved to college, got my own space—as much space as a person can have in a dorm—and began managing a lot of my own money. But something about that number 2 in front of my age really rubbed me the wrong way yesterday. I'm not a teenager anymore. I no longer get to blame immaturity on "being a kid" or count on the fact that I'll "grow out of it" later. 

The future is closer than ever, and I guess that begs the question: What does the future hold?

My answer: I don't know.

There is so much that I want to do in the near and far future including but not limited to:

- Growing Luke Montgomery Media as a company into a dynamic content creation team that seeks to tell the greatest stories in the world.

- Completing a whole tour with one artist as a lead photographer.

- Graduating college.

- Putting myself in a position to be fully independent and working for myself.

-Continuing to grow my craft of storytelling in the areas of photography, video, music, and written content.

These are only a few of the things that I hope to accomplish in my life, and on my 20th birthday, I realized there is so little time to do these things. I, honestly, had feelings of failure because my teenage years are gone and I am left sitting with mediocre achievements, average results, and a "normal" life.

Contentedness is something that I feel I have always struggled with. I think my creative mind partnered with my ADHD gives me a unique ability to always be thinking. I can be sitting right next to someone—in the middle of a conversation—and have absolutely no idea what they are saying because my mind is somewhere completely different. This can definitely be a tool, but it is often a curse as I have to constantly be working to stay present with the people I am with. I oftentimes sacrifice relationships in the present in the hopes of being somewhere else in the future.

Recently, in my quiet time, I started 1 John. Chapter 2 really stuck with me.

"Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever." -1 John 2:15-17

As a creative, I get very caught up in my own image. How does my work compare to other photographers? What can I be doing to set myself apart? How can I look different—and thus be better than everyone else? My desires can easily shift to building a name for myself and storing up things on this earth. I find myself craving validation from my peers.

Thanks to some people close to me, I realized what a worldly perspective this is. I don't have to worry about separating myself from other people, because Jesus already did that for me when he saved me. Because of Him, I already stand out. If I am living my life to glorify him, then his path for me will become clear and it will automatically look different than anyone else's. My many goals will eventually morph into variations of themselves that will bring glory to Him, and those that don't will fade as my love for him increases.

So what does this mean for me? I am now 20 years old with my dreams very much still alive. It seems clear that God and I are on different timetables and I'm learning to accept that. While part of me will miss my teenage years, as a close friend said to me:

"How could a kid pursue all the dreams you have?"

Peter Pan was wrong. In time, we each have to grow up whether we like it or not. If we didn't, people would not be nearly as successful and as a Christian, I would never reach what God has planned for me. So much of the beauty of life comes from the time people spent getting to the end. And people are better off because of it.

So, I want to start investing more of my time and creative spirit into things that matter. I'm not exactly sure what that looks like yet, but I'm confident I will know in God's time.

I hope you all have an amazing weekend.

-Luke